Edutainment with Ranting

I am in a weird state the last day or so. I saw the new Elizibeth film with Erin Rachel and Frank when I started thinking again, for the first time in a long time about what I actually do. Histography, the pattern of time, it perks my interest all those events in the past that changes so much about the world now and then. I have been in a state of constant thought on it (Just in time for the two middies I am most worried about) and other things. I seem to be thinking again, well in the creative analytical sense anyhow. I mean I had been thinking before but it is not the same thing at all. It seems that working at the lube shop had more effect on me than I thought as most of my mental energies were off, or directed into football. When you spend most of your days around people that consider literacy an accomplishment rather than a beginning, discussions about anything remotely considered intellectual are Taboo.

I did not realize I had missed them until I unleashed one.

I am glad I have a group of friends these days so suited to such pursits. Now how long till people start telling me to shut up again.

In good news I seem to have no lab this week. In bad news I have middies in several classes not the least of which is my night class. SNAP

I am half done the midterms and I think I passed the CompSci one I was dreading. This week coming up I have 2 more and then I am pretty much done. This of course is making me happy. As long as it is actually true.

I have Shaved again, I do not know whether I am going to keep it off or regrow. But it did facilitate scaring the hell out of Corrin so I have already won a little either way. Thank you giant ass lady who I hid behind. Next weekend I hope to do something with Nirbo and Sisters to celebrate the freedom of education. Or rather to celebrate freedom from Midterms. Whatever. As of now I am brain damaged due to lack of sleep but I want to get my chat on here on the Blogosphere.

I am too done Night.

Winning my trophy for most boring class of the week for the second consecutive week is…. <Ding> CompSci 101 for making doing nothing on the internet more interesting than giving a damn in this class.

Today ran into Linden in HUB and she was sitting with a friend from her building named Lindsay. She is what I like to call a “Magic Crystal Girl” not only was she almost painful in her attempts to be upbeat (Which would not have been so bad) but as an added bonus she showed a naivity that I find SHOCKING in this day and age. Best of all was her bizzare need to relate EVERYTHING to “Friends” using the old Ross and Rachel nugget at LEAST 5 times.

Ok so she is in Nutrition and I should not judge but seriously what the hell is wrong with people?

Well the prof is done tormenting me early so FREEDOM. Yes I should blog more, I will try.

I am liking school these days (tho I am barely in) but I think I have settled and finally have the mix of fear and determination I brought to first year back. I would like to blame work for all my school woe’s but more than a little can be laid at the feet of my own actions (Having to work for example) but honestly I sometimes feel like I am living someone else’s life like somehow I was co-opted into Scott’s life with his death taking me from the place I was to the place he was going to go. I still am unsure what people think of my odd brand of madness these days tho it is relatively benign being a jovial kinda thing. I feel like the demons are under control and although I still fear many things I do well at disguising it. I am sure some among my friends wonder why I use tales of my past so often. Indeed the tales of my adolesence and high school years are a bad combination of negative to outright foolish and yet they are a part of the man I am the man I became. Just because I am governed now does not mean the flashes of rage don’t come just that unlike them I rule them instead of them me the impulse is there left for dead in my mind. No holes in the wall and all my furniture fine.

What I was, who I was is fading away every minute of everyday until the me I was is gone a faint ghost of pain in my mind. So much I seek to do is to save others from the events of my life to keep other individuals from being railroaded to the trailer park due to their idiosyncracies rather than their actual intelligence.

Its late and the thoughts were upon me placed upon a page they lose their power over me.

Raileigh Hall is the second most unpleasant person I have every worked with. I do anything she wants and she greets me with nothing but sneers and harrasment. Now in addition to her usual crap she is claiming I am a bigot to my manager to get me in trouble. I am doing my best not to rock the boat here but on my last day I am going to give her both barrels of my annoyance right in the face. Starting with and indictment of her personality and ending with the (Not at all shocking) relevation that she has been a bitch to me all summer for no reason. I am tired of it I have reached my BS limit with her. One more thing at all and I am gonna snap and quit. I have had enough.

In the last week and a bit at my parents house I have drank and partied more than I have in the last 6 months. Every time I am planning on not going and getting wrecked but invariably it occurs almost to mock me. I have like 14 beers in the trunk of my car from last night Luau where the most peculiar brand of small world syndrome occurred with Matt Cragg, Adam Filderiau (yeah thats totally mispelt I can say it at least) and Bryce Babey all appearing at the event, alas I arrived after Jeff Dewald left depriving me of true wonder. I chatted I drank and after my very own case of beer and bottle of Gin ate pizza. I don’t remember much from there on except stumbling toward a fence and being told not to puke there so I moved to a nearby parking lot. Woke up in my car with my jersey apparently (poorly) hand washed beside me. Then a drive to the ‘rents for sleep in my own bed.

I used to have a good drinking strategy but my own failure to make dinner made the pizza to tempting to pass up but I suppose I wasn’t planning on drinking as much as I did. Also I have spent far to much money this week on stupid shit like booze, drinking is expensive even when you buy the liquor from the store the good news is I have a supply of beer for when Nirbo comes over.

Also ate the mega ditch from both Megan and Corrin. I hope their excuses for the ditch are good as they are normally not (Give a dude a call so he don’t sit till like 10pm waiting to hear from you). Hung with Parker played football and planned for Maddenoliday. The Eskies and the Browns won as well, with drunken fun I class this as a good weekend regardless of drama on the horizon. Really I should be posting more but when most of my days are work and outside of football and nerding a lack of fun whats to talk about.

I have come to a harsh realization, it has been more than 4 years since I considered myself happy with a woman for more than a few weeks. This has not all been my doing but the last several relationship failures can be laid squarely at my feet. Ok not all of then Irene was not my fault, and Ashley but really I don’t feel like I am approaching things with anything approaching an open mind. I find fault and fault and fault and I want out. As if I am such a prize.

I feel like I am, I am supporting and do my best to be a caring person. But I am an asshole too about alot of things. Its and odd dicotomy Nice and an Ass neither in sufficient quanity to arouse interest in the women folk. I am sad that things keep not working out but not so much that I am willing to change anything about me, I am ME dammit and I will change for no person.

But I have changed, I am the guy I am because I have been shaped by my friends (And Former Friends) into the dynamic creature of lunacy I am today. Not all of it good mind you but all in all I am doing pretty damn well.

The childern haunt me tho. Alot. I think of the family that could have been and I look at my solitary existence and I feel empty. I feel like what I want is different from most of the people I know these days and even from the people I date, I want a family I want to find someone who wants to have me for the rest of thier lives and raise the wee ones with me. But what I meet at school are young women just reaching thier pace seeking love and romance and affection. I want these things as well but they are not the modivator for why I seek women merely a pleasant side effect of it.

Fuck I have gone on like this before but in these wee hours, especially when I have been around those of my friends who share or shared something I am reminded. I am happy for them and their joy but in someways I am sad for myself.

Ok the blog was down for awhile due to server “Issues” but we are back and maybe even black… A little.

Now for a rant.

What is with people and being unable to drive I will admit I make errors now and again like anyone but some of the folks blundering around these streets blow me away.  People like “Merge Into Me Guy” what can you not see the massive White Truck beside you? Do you only have remedial skills in side vision? Or “Stop Signs are for people with smaller cars” lady. Yes way to go you have a nissan Armada the most grossly over sized SUV ever, this does not grant you special immunity to stop signs and lights also shoulder checking should be done more do to the cololsal size of your blind spot but you don’t you need to drive you screaming whelps to school so you can go back to having rough sex with the gardner. Gaa

I am not as ranty as I thought. I am sick as hell tho, missed work today and I dunno how I am for tommorow but I need money to live so crippling stomach pain or not I need to go in. I hate this “flu” shit nothing worse than waking up to puke all over your bed, and then spend half the damn night cleaning up so you can sleep, real big fan = me. I want to go back to sleep but then I dunno if I will make it thru the night so for now I tough it out awake.

I have a small car again a 4banger a species I have lacked since the LAST time I bought my grandparents old car, she may be old but my limited / Hippie levels of driving will not be any large strain on her. As an added bonus my grandparents bought it NEW so I know any and everything it has ever done. It does need work but its all well within my limited capeablities. I was hoping to drive to work but Frank apparently needs his car durring the day so I guess my attempt to help out is for naught. But I am TOTALLY driving to my parents for Laundry Gas is less than 4 bucks a load

and I could swear I had more T-Shirts before I moved…. Oh Gawd they are in the bags in the closet. In other news I am thinking of getting rid of some of my clothes from Jr.High… but then I thought the better of it, I mean I was fat then if I get into shape now I can wear them again. No? well I don’t like throwing shit out.

I love the Job and I am hoping that soon I will have a NEW TRUCK, because A/C would be heaven I mean when my old lil car has ice cold A/C why doesn’t my work Truck.

I need more fans

I have not had as much fun having my players slam dunk my villans honor in years if ever.

Its too hot to write paragraphs and now it is bed time.

People don’t realize how stupid Tv used to be back in the 70′s, when you compare the idiotic plots and premises that were the norm back then you realize why Star Trek is still popular today. It was totally different from the tripe that came before it and after. Lost in Space aside (And even that was ridiculously underwritten) name one show in the Sci Fi genre from the 60′s and 70′s that is not pure crap. “Space:1999″ is not terribly written and the acting is reasonable, but the initial premise is ridiculous, best of all it goes thru a “Star Trek: Voyager” faze where the MOON is thrown thru space time to other star systems. Yeah the moon, but the writing and idea’s beat out alot of “Battlestar Galactica”‘s bizzare plots. Have you seen the weird white android guys, thats all I am going to say along with comedy releif or just plain annoying you decide. If you could get the writers from “Space:1999″ to write a “Battlestar: Galactica” scrip. Or is that the modern Battlestar show? I dunno I am a season behind but seriously DRAMA DRAMA. I mean I am glad that the Sci Fi television world has matured and is less likely to expect the veiwers to swallow complete and utter crap at the opening stage of the program. Zoom: Moon the Space Ship, this was easier to swallow than a space ship, how stupid were people in the 70′s?

Other news of a Blogging nature, I am single again having parted ways with Ashley, I dunno what to say about that whole thing but it was nice and I am glad we are still going to be friends….. I think.

well I should make some dinner I will try to be better about Blogging and the Quality of said Blog.