I hope to hit three points today one being the whole Safewalk THING the next being my headspace and the third, what I have planned to get things done.
The Directors job was a long shot at best due only to the nepotism so rampant in the Students Union. Am I mad about it, its a job a chance to do good I am sad I lost, I am pissed they are shitting the whole place down the toilet and I am baffled why anyone is staying. They have Fucked you Are Fucking you and will happily Fuck you again at the next convenient moment. This goes for all the volenteers in the organization. It has stopped being about helping your fellow and making campus safe and it is all about the benefit of a letter. The reference letter is all they have, there is talk of eliminating the few remaining benefits to put things more in line with the rest of the SU. I for one refuse to let them take me down, I am sending my energy into other things and again the prospect of running as president dingle dangles in my head.
My headspace, has been rough for the last several months irrespective of my behavior, the big bad blues coupled with my almost Tragic Fuck Up of Chem left me in sorry condition. I still don’t know what in the hell I am doing but responsibility has kicked in again and work calls. I am not feeling better but I am managing myself better. I still get all parinoid about people and things but with all of it being due to school (Really I have a GREAT Supportive and understanding group of friends) means that I should be much better when the frustration of this semester passes. I will be Challenging the grade, her hate may be in my head but this whole thing is BS and the sooner I do SOMETHING to change things the better.
As for the future, I move out with Frank in a few weeks to palatial downtown things are still looking good but various fuck ups combined with my bout of hide under the pillow has left my bills a bit behind, this of course means that much of the summer will be spent pounding my head on the wall of financial restoration. Yay. I hope to repair enough on the Nova over this summer with a moderate investment to send it at last on the way and hopefully give me a little nest egg to play with. Maybe. I have not found my hoped for better job with no call backs as yet but come next monday I am going pro-active on it and applying at as many places as I can think of. If all goes well HOPEFULLY I can sneak away for some fishing/ Camping. As well I will be running Mechwarrior for the usual crew plus most of the Ol’ Tymes boys that I still have contact with at all, Being Alex, Matt, and Brett.
This is all going as of now and one last thing I am STILL seeking an Artist to turn all this into a webcomic, uhg.