So I have this venue I should make use of it right?
I am totally unfocused right now, it just seems so unimportant. I mean I have what is starting to be quite a bit to do and still I am unfocused. I have today and tommorow to do the takehome and then I should be able to smash my way thru the reading for History. And then write and exam study for the next and I am done. Ding.
Then work wants me to work. I don’t want to work. I want to work on the Lincoln I want to go somewhere. I want to Vacation DAMMIT.
Focus FOCUS FOCUS. I want this to be done sooner and procrastination does not go well with success. I am determined… Most of the time. I wonder alot why I do this why I stick by a path based on people long gone. Why do I not declare tis for my own. Maybe its because I know I would not be doing this for me. So on some scale I still do it for her although I will never see her again.
I have done all this to be a better person to be a better me. But some nights… Hell some days I look at this and go why? Why do I suffer thru this crap thru this work so I can, what be done? Such foolishness. I sit here going into debt so I can have a peice of paper that says BA and another with BEd. Its close now. I think it might be worth it, it may be the path to the life I want. I may not have done everything I wanted to do. But I wanted to be better than I was and I am now and I have more to go.
Time off may solve the funk, or it may not. I dunno. I have 48hrs to finish this take home and I am going to put a few hours into reading tonight.
Yeah it a funk but always I go on. I don’t always know why, but I always do.
Hey there, You go on because it’s only a funk and they eventually go away. You may feel like you’ve been in it for forever but it will leave and since you know that you go on.
As for getting your couch to work for you – it will once the right person is there too. Unfortunately I don’t know who or where she is.
You also go on because self-preservation is the strongest instinct we still have.
HE CAN’T KILL HIMSELF! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Also, don’t tell him that he’ll find the right person. That’s a cliche. Also, you look stupid if he dies alone.
If he doesn’t die alone, I still look like an asshole for saying that, but everyone is happier.