So it is the opinion of my Doctor that the cause of my muscle pain is, My Blood Pressure Meds!! So now I am off them and the search for ones that work has started once more. FUCK. As well it is not a 100% thing, I have to go in for blood tests to make sure that I am not actually dying. I called into work and offered a note, the doctor offered one for my class I am sure that she will be Ok with giving me one for tommorow……except I think she has it off. DAMN IT. well I will call in tommrow and see. This really REALLY SUCKS.
I have the text for my Presentation and I have to get it and my Hist paper done tommorow. Well by next wednesday. I am going to try to get in to see my Hist Prof and talk to him about this.
Tommorow is going to be hell. I have to move and work all day, but I get enough done, if I get enough done I can actually not be screwed over the weekend and actually get done before the last possible day.
I have to get over this negative streak I am on, I know I am down because I am disatisfied with alot of stuff in my life. I am doing my best. I am getting school done. I am meeting people and trying to fill the holes in my life. I have good friends. I am afraid…. Its hard to articulate, I have them all here playing games and I am scared to death. I can do a in class presentation with a blank sheet but the thought of failing all these people scares the hell out of me. That they will not want to be around me. I see Nirbo lashing out and I think of doing that. Lashing out and drive them all away and just hide under the bed till my life blows over.
This was not how this road was supposed to go. But here I am all the same.
Hah! Lashing out just won’t work for you :p.
You lack Nirbo’s sophisticated charms that keep people coming back, no matter wha a crazy asshole he becomes!
But, if you do choose to lash out, don’t do it for the wrong reasons :p. If you lash out at the people you love, you’re really going to hurt them. If you become a reclusive sack of UNBRIDLED FURY, they’ll give you the space you require, and occassionally check to see if you’re feeling better.
Not that I’m reccommeding fake t3h fury. I’m all natural INSANE. Faking insanity is just insulting
But with Nirbo’s patented system, you too can be just as insane!
1) Don’t have any real reason to bitch about life. (i.e. Young white male, with loving family)
2) Be incredibly angry with your lot in life, despite how awesome it really is. (i.e. Incredibly awkward around the many many beautiful women you know, have classes that require attendance but will eventually lead to a degree)
3) INCREDIBLE FRUSTRATION related to how you can be incredibly angry for no damn good reason. (i.e. Why do I hurt inside!?)
4) INCREDIBLE FRUSTRATION masked by eternal self-deprecation. (i.e. Because I’m a fucking wad.)
5) Believe in the self deprecation. (i.e. My new name is Waddy McWadderton. I’m apparently Scottish.)
Here’s the important part!
6) 13 Years of near hermitage in an arctic wasteland. (i.e. FUCK THAT’S BARREN.)
And the not so important part
7) 1/2 cup sugar. (i.e. Remember to brush and floss afterwards!)
Back on topic!
9) Always. Consistantly. Take life too seriously about 10 minutes before you’re totally screwed. (i.e. I have a WHAT due WHEN!? Oh my god my heart!)
10) Never take impending doom seriously. It really freaks out the people around you when you admit there’s trouble
And there you have it. If that didn’t cheer you up, I fucking give up! If it made you sad, you took it too seriously, and have failed from the prestigious Nirbonica Polytechnika. On the upside, Strait-jackets aren’t as uncomfortable as you’d think.
Back to the paperwriting! Thundercats, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
You do have a talent for hilarity my russian friend.